Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
