It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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