Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
