I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
