Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
