i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
