it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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