Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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