And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
