You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
