Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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