well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
