Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
