I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
