I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
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Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
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I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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