Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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