You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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