She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
