what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
