why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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