She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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