So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
