I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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