I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
