carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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