I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize