I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
