I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
