You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
