the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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