Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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