wanna go halves on a baby?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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