East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
