yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
