Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
not ubering you a puppy
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
