The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
