i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
