We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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