i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
