The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
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i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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