1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
