I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
