GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
