Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
