so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
