I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
