Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
