after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
