He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
