playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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