When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
