Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize