Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm passing your future prison.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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