i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
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the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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