it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
