So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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