Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
